Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Today Is The Last Goodbye

this is it.. the day I should be there saying goodbye... why you might ask aren't I? Well life sometimes just makes it impossible to be where you want or need to be... but ya know... it's really ok... some say i wont forgive myself.. and maybe in someways that's true... but i also know i have said my goodbyes in my own way. I will miss him... I will always always have my memories of what was... and that my friend... is the best anyone could ask for! I'm not crying any more.. because i can still hear my dad calling me the morning my daughter died and saying to me... in his always great yet sometimes off color wisdom... " M get up... do NOT just sit there and let everyone do everything for you... if you crawl into that black hole you will never come out again.. and that would be unforgivable" and though some may find that harsh.. I didn't... i knew exactly what he meant... and why.. and i did what he told me to do... and managed to pull my ass up and move forward.. so once again i follow his words that helped me through not only the loss of my daughter so long ago but my husband 3 years ago.. and a house fire... and now this... You were right dad... and in your words.. "The Show Must Go On" Dad you just keep on giving! I love you and you rock!