Friday, November 20, 2009

I rarely talk about these things... but I am a widow with a couple hellions still at home, imperfect though they are, spoiled, they don't listen but they are mine and I love them. Being a widow is an experience you cannot understand unless of course you've been there. Certain days bring about memories, painful and good, certain times of the year and so on, I am told it gets better with time, I'm hoping for that. Yesterday the twins turned 9.... and the memories flooded in, it was a stressful day, a lot of work trying to give them a party they would enjoy and remember. At the end of it all one did say it was the best party ever, so that was my thanks small but heartfelt and wonderful. I lost someone else yesterday, they cannot and will never understand, am I perfect? Oh gawd I wish I was, but that isn't in the cards, so i deal the best i can with what I have sometimes I do OK sometimes I don't. So many blessings I should just not think about the bad right? Doesn't work that way.
In a couple weeks my Dad's birthday will be here, I wont go into how old he would have been and many of you were with me at SR the day he died, virtually holding my hand and hugging me. Some days it's the best you can ask for.
Life goes on we all say and I guess that's what mine must do.
I close this to a quiet evening at home, the boys were invited to a basketball game , thus I have free time on my hands. Perhaps I'll spend it thinking on the good things and trying to get past the bad. :)